Dear God, please forgive me

For background on today’s post, please see previous posts where JC has shared her story – including “Spiritual Abuse” and “The Cycle of Trust.”

Credit: JC

By JC

Dear God,

Please forgive me. I am sorry. I am sorry that I did not trust You during my storm.

Funny thing is that I know the story about the disciples and You sleeping in the boat, commonly known as “Jesus Calms the Storm”:

“Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’ Jesus responded, ‘Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!’ Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. ‘Who is this man?’ they asked. ‘Even the winds and waves obey him!'”
Matthew 8:23–27

I read your Word everyday so I know this story. And yet, for a long time, I have doubted Your control over the storm I am in. I never said it that way or thought about it that way, but that is what I did. While I never doubted that You love me, I was not hearing from You. Despite my faithful prayers, the many times I cried and begged for an answer, You were silent. I felt like the disciples – scared and crying out, “Lord, where are You?”

I prayed to You, Lord, asking for You to bend me and break me to Your will. I kept handing over the situation to You, reminding myself of Philippians 4:6: “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

But then I would take the situation back from You:

Lord, You are not moving, I do not see anything improving for months and months, despite my prayers and fasting and my broken heart. I do not understand, I know You love me. I have been a Christian for over a decade, so I know what to do when prayer goes unanswered–Fast, ask God if there is unconfessed sin in my life, check if what I am asking is in line with Scriptures, talk to Godly people, and sometimes understand no answer is an answer.

I was trying everything just to survive.

Then, I was listening to K-LOVE at work this week and I heard this: God waits until you truly surrender to Him. Then, He kindly says, “My child, I was just waiting for you to be done.”

That hit me hard. I was trying to do this or that. While I was praying and fasting and removing sins from my life, I had not fully surrendered to You. It was unintentional, I believed I had surrendered. But, what I was saying was “God, please fix this . . . just not that way please.”

I was not fully surrendered to You. I then started praying, “Lord, please do whatever You want. I no longer care. Just please do something.” [I am not recommending this exact prayer, as I had a bad attitude.]

I spent a few days praying this and inviting the Holy Spirit to work on my bad attitude.

Then, You moved.

And You moved in a big way.

I am sorry I did not trust You. I am sorry I kept handing over my burdens and then taking them back. I am sorry I did not fully surrender to You.

Thank you, God. You have taught us so much. May we never forget these lessons:

  • You provide (Philippians 4:19)
  • Trust in You (Proverb 3:5)
  • Be still (Psalm 46:10)
  • “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything” (Philippians 4:6)
  • Rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4)
  • Owe no one a thing, except love (Romans 13:8)
  • Love Jesus first
  • Seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33)
  • If it’s His will, He will
  • “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28)
  • “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good” (Genesis 50:20)
  • And nothing can separate us from Your love (Romans 8:38-39)

Amen


Doctor Lois Evans, beloved bride of Texas-based pastor and author Doctor Tony Evans, went Home on December 30. Doctor Evans on January 5 provided a poignant sermon as a tribute to her, embedded below or available directly on YouTube. JC notes, “He talks about being close to God, how you can hear and see Heaven when you stay close to Him. She trusted Him in her death. We must always stay close to Him and trust Him no matter what.”

 Credit: Tony Evans (YouTube)

The miracle of Rahab

By Snow

In the lead-up to the battle of Jericho, Joshua, leader of the Israelites after the death of Moses, sent two spies into the city. There, they spent the night at the house of Rahab, a prostitute. The king of Jericho found out about the incursion and sent word to Rahab that she was to oust the Israelites. Instead, she hid the men and claimed to the king that they had already left (see Joshua 2:1-6).

The passage below begins with a quote from Rahab as she talks to the spies:

“‘Now swear to me by the LORD that you will be kind to me and my family since I have helped you. Give me some guarantee that when Jericho is conquered, you will let me live, along with my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all their families.’ ‘We offer our own lives as a guarantee for your safety,’ the men agreed. ‘If you don’t betray us, we will keep our promise and be kind to you when the LORD gives us the land.’ Then, since Rahab’s house was built into the town wall, she let them down by a rope through the window.”
Joshua 2:12-15

Using a scarlet rope, the men descend the wall of the city from Rahab’s window. They return to camp and report to Joshua (see Joshua 2:21-24).

Credit: JC

The Israelites mount an offense, crossing the Jordan to Jericho (see Joshua 3). The Lord gives Joshua specific instructions on how to conquer the city in seven days (see Joshua 6:2-5). Following the Lord’s instructions, on the seventh day:

“When the people heard the sound of the rams’ horns, they shouted as loud as they could. Suddenly, the walls of Jericho collapsed, and the Israelites charged straight into the town and captured it. They completely destroyed everything in it with their swords—men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep, goats, and donkeys. Meanwhile, Joshua said to the two spies, ‘Keep your promise. Go to the prostitute’s house and bring her out, along with all her family.’ The men who had been spies went in and brought out Rahab, her father, mother, brothers, and all the other relatives who were with her. They moved her whole family to a safe place near the camp of Israel.”
Joshua 6:20-23

What I love about this story is not that the Israelites lived up to their promise of sparing Rahab.

No, it is God who saved Rahab. For her house was built into the walls of the city – the very same walls that collapse in the above passage. Only after the collapse did the spies retrieve Rahab and her family. For her house to survive collapse was nothing short of divine intervention – a true miracle.

In the New Testament, the author of Hebrews includes Rahab in the faith “hall of fame,” noting:

“It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down. It was by faith that Rahab the prostitute was not destroyed with the people in her city who refused to obey God. For she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.”
Hebrews 11:30-31

James also references Rahab, placing her faith in the context of her actions:

“So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone. Rahab the prostitute is another example. She was shown to be right with God by her actions when she hid those messengers and sent them safely away by a different road. Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.”
James 2:24-26

What an amazing God! Thank you for reading. May Jesus bless you.

61 suggestions for life (#50 will make you laugh)

By JC & Snow

  1. Unless your heart is in it, don’t do it.
  2. Live your best life now.
  3. Do not let fear control you. Live.
  4. No amount of stuff can fill a hole in your heart.
  5. Experiences create loving memories. Not stuff.
  6. If it takes 40+ boxes to pack a room that contains your stuff, you have a problem. It will be okay. Jesus will help you.
  7. All humans make mistakes. If you take a wrong turn, admit your mistake, fix it, and get back on Jesus’s course.
  8. Be careful as to who and what you give your energy.
  9. Accept help from people. Even ask for it. This is one way Jesus sends you gifts.
  10. Never be so busy that you don’t notice the gifts Jesus provides you every day.
  11. Comfortable silence is better than a blaring TV.
  12. No more soda for you. Ever.
  13. Stand in nature and breathe deeply.
  14. Look for signs of Him, for He is everywhere.
  15. If you don’t love someone, then don’t marry her or him. Even if you think this person is the only one who will ever love you. Maybe especially then.
  16. If you don’t want to be with someone more than you want to be alone, then don’t marry her or him.
  17. Never give up who you really are for another person. Be true to yourself.
  18. If you want to go on a mission trip to feed hungry children, and someone has a problem with that, you need to seriously take a look at why that person is in your life.
  19. If someone is jealous of time you are spending with your ill mom, that is not a good sign.
  20. If someone doesn’t like scripture quotes, that is not a good sign.
  21. You can give someone a Bible. Even two of them. But you can’t make her or him read it.
  22. Never become so dependent on someone that you can’t drive yourself wherever you need to go and do what you need to do.
  23. Sex should not be the driver for your relationship.
  24. Your true love doesn’t walk away from you when you are obviously in need. She or he holds you until you are okay.
  25. If your significant other has more than two TVs, run.
  26. If your significant other spends more time on Amazon than with you, run. Incidentally, if this same person removes you from her or his Amazon Prime account, you know it’s over. Celebrate.
  27. If the Amazon delivery driver knows how to get your place without directions, you might have a problem.
  28. If your significant other won’t pray with you, despite you asking, flee.
  29. If your significant other rushes to get the mail first each day, she or he may be hiding something.
  30. If you have shared with your significant other how you receive love, and she or he doesn’t care, flee.
  31. Don’t engage with people who play games with your emotions – silent treatment, cold shoulder, etc. Instead, play with those who bring you joy (or pain, if that’s your thing as a consensual act within a marriage).
  32. If you are disappointed when someone comes home after being away, this is not your true love.
  33. If you are excited to leave someone, this is not your true love.
  34. If you hold someone for 15 minutes with no words needed after being apart, she or he is your true love.
  35. If you are filled with joy just to stand next to someone, then that is where you should spend your time.
  36. If someone in your life takes time to analyze your anxiety and comes up with methods to overcome it, this person deeply loves you. Cherish her or him.
  37. If you secretly love someone, tell her or him. Don’t just imply you love her. Tell her. If she is worth your love, she will at minimum be flattered, and she may surprise you with her own words.
  38. If you have never laid on the beach, lay on it with your true love.
  39. Kiss your true love as if it is the last time, every time.
  40. Never leave things unspoken or unresolved. Always make sure you say “I love you” to those you do.
  41. Yes, love being with people, but be able to function even if you miss them.
  42. Always be involved in your finances. Don’t give this up to anyone else. Know what is going on with God’s money.
  43. Never have a credit card balance. Ever. If you already have them, stop charging, and start paying them down.
  44. Where your money goes is where your heart is.
  45. If you have Amazon, drop Prime. Pay for your shipping. You will buy less.
  46. Run your credit report.
  47. If you are checking to see if you have enough room on your credit card to afford an item, you can’t afford it.
  48. Never let someone else use your credit cards.
  49. Better yet, have no credit cards at all.
  50. If the pastor is inspired by Jesus, no one cares if the choir is out of tune.
  51. If the pastor doesn’t say “turn in your Bible to ….” so that you can read along and understand for yourself, then run.
  52. Spend in depth time with Jesus alone.
  53. Create a personal relationship with Jesus. Read and pray daily.
  54. Kneel and pray with your true love. Every day.
  55. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything” (Philippians 4:6).
  56. Say what you mean. “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No'” (Matthew 5:37).
  57. “God is love” (1 John 4:16). If you don’t have God, you don’t have love.
  58. Listen to your gut. It is often God’s voice.
  59. There is power in prayer.
  60. Listen to His whispers. “There was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:12).
  61. The best place to break a fast is at McDonald’s with your true love. Actually, where doesn’t really matter. Just be with your true love.

Thank you for reading. May God bless you as He has blessed us.

Credit: JC