I am a failure

Of those I have read so far, one of my favorite books of the Bible is James. However, I struggle with the below passage:

“For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. For the same God who said, ‘You must not commit adultery,’ also said, ‘You must not murder.’ So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.”
James 2:10-11

I definitely grasp that a person is guilty by breaking any of the commandments. What is more difficult for me to comprehend is that a person who has broken a single commandment is just as guilty as a person who has broken all ten. How can this be?

I am often perplexed by binary questions, the kind looking for simple “Yes” or “No” answers. I grapple with this passage, then, because “Do you obey God’s law?” is the ultimate binary question.

Either we obey the commandments or we do not. “Yes, but. . . .” is not a valid answer, nor is “I obey the ones that are easy” or “I obey the most important ones.” What we are really saying with those kinds of responses is, “I obey the ones I choose.” Which means we are arrogant enough to think we know better than our all-knowing God.

Do I obey God’s law?

No.

I sin every day. Even when I am on my very best behavior and have the greatest day ever, I sin. I have broken over half of the commandments, many of them repeatedly. Even after being saved, I still break God’s law.

What is wrong with me?

The answer to that question is simple. I am human. There was only one perfect man, and our imperfect ancestors crucified him.

Fallen tree in the woods
Credit: JC

Jesus is also the answer for my sins, though. The perfect man without sin served as the ultimate sacrifice for all of us imperfect, sinful humans.

No matter how hard I try, even if He granted me a blank slate today, I will never be able to obey all of God’s commandments. I will fail and sin, as I have to this point in my life. Over and over. When it comes to obeying God’s law, I am a failure, and I always will be.

By accepting Jesus into my heart, I have been absolved of my failures.

Since I will always fail and yet be forgiven, does this mean I might as well break all of the commandments (Romans 6:15)?

Jesus suffered on the cross for me, for all of us.

Do I really want to be disrespectful to His sacrifice by using His love as an escape clause?

Now, there’s a binary question that I can answer without struggle: No.

Thank you for reading. May God bless you.

The walk begins

Welcome to the first sentence of the first post of the Beloved Walks blog. I am 43-years-old, but I was born only 5 months ago.

That may sound like a riddle, but it is easy to explain. Earlier this year, someone special in my life worked on His behalf to lead me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. My life changed on that day. In fact, I was reborn.

I had heard people talk about being “born again,” but I never really understood what they meant until it happened to me. One of the darkest days of my life became the brightest, and His light of love has only intensified for me since then.

My eyes and ears are now open to a beautiful, wonderful world. Colors pop like never before. I see and hear signs of Him everywhere. I have new desires to improve myself as well as to discover and remain on the path He intends for me.

foundRightHere

When Jesus forgave me on that day in June, I felt the heavy pain and burden of my sins disappear, as if chains had literally been removed from my body. Not until Jesus forgave my sins did I realize just how heavy those chains had been.

I have had multiple amazing experiences in the short time since I was saved. However, I have also learned about other aspects of this world – battles going on behind the scenes and beneath the surface that I never suspected.

In addition, I have discovered an unfortunate tendency of mine to try to pick some of those chains of guilt back up, which is disrespectful to the sacrifice He made for us. I also sometimes find myself drifting off God’s path for me. That is to say, becoming a Christian certainly did not make me perfect. If anything, it has only highlighted for me my imperfections.

I love to write, and I was multiple years into a pop culture blog when I was saved. While I still enjoy the topics of that blog, I no longer have the same kind of desire to write and obsess over them as I did in the before-times.

Instead, I have a new focus – God’s love for all of his creations. I was initially hesitant to start this blog, though, because I am no expert on Jesus or the Bible. I have not yet even finished reading the entire Bible.

I thought to myself, who am I to start such a blog? Then I heard the answer.

Who am I? I’m a child of God! (John 1:12)

As I said, I am far from perfect, though. I will make mistakes here, as I do elsewhere in my life. I will connect things that have no business being connected, and I will miss connections that are obvious to others.

This blog will chronicle my experience and failures as a Christian. It will include observations and thoughts on the Bible. It will celebrate the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. As I rediscover the pure version of me, I’ll present here some of what I learn along the way on the journey to the Kingdom of Heaven.

Thank you for reading. May God bless you.