A pathway through the wilderness

By Snow

In a span of 1 hour and 49 minutes on Monday, July 22, I lost my job, signed away my house, and saw my wife for probably the last time. It may sound like a bad country song, but I would more appropriately compare it to joyful praise music. I thank Jesus for these tremendous changes. I give my life to Him.

I had been at the same workplace for 11 years. To say that the environment had become toxic recently is an understatement. The last 17 months there in particular have been extremely difficult.

Two Fridays before I was fired, I went to my favorite park for a morning walk before work. Through the Holy Spirit, I felt God with me as I walked a path that I had never been down before. I thanked Him for my blessings as I cried happy tears. He revealed to me that morning that I would soon be fired.

Losing my job was a concern to me, as I was on the verge of signing a lease on an apartment as the sale of my house concluded.

“Should I hold off on the apartment? Find some other arrangement?”

No, He told me. I was to proceed with the apartment. I was to trust Him, for He would provide. There would be a severance package to get me by for awhile.

As I finished the “new” path, I noticed that I had actually passed it dozens of times in the past. It had been there all along. At work, I began to tie up loose ends and make sure I saw those I wanted to see.

I signed the lease that Sunday. The Wednesday before I was fired, I moved into my new place – my new life. With JC’s help, what was once an empty apartment has been transformed into a warm home, full of love. Full of Him. I am so grateful to her. I am blessed she is on this journey with me.

Credit: JC

On the Monday I was fired, I went to the park at lunchtime (at this point, I still had a job). At the park, I texted JC. Here are portions of our exchange:

Snow: I just hate that place so much now.
JC: You know you don’t belong there – it’s just where you are now.

Later, back at work.

Snow: It is so hard to breathe here.
JC: I love you.

While it is not unusual for JC to send me two or three verses a day, this particular Monday she was sending me one after another. Here is a sampling:

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.”
Romans 8:38

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”
Psalm 55:22

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”
Psalm 37:4

“Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.”
Psalm 27:14

“I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator and King. I am the LORD, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. But forget all that— it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:15-19

Not long after reading God was about to do something new, I was called down to HR and told that I was terminated effective immediately. During the proceeding, I was calm. I was at peace. I thanked and shook hands with those who told me the news. As God had promised, there was indeed a severance package. I walked out with head held high, chatting with the security chief about how our lives are in His hands.

Within nine minutes of the phone call to come down to HR, I was at my car. I left work for the last time and drove back to the park. It seemed fitting.

JC, having just gone through a similar experience herself (we did, after all, pray for God to use a 4×4 on us), met me there.

We hugged. We prayed.

I soon had to leave, though, as I had to get to the closing on the sale of my house as part of separation and divorce proceedings with my spouse.

My main concern was finding the place and parking. There was only street parking available. While I have come a long way with overcoming anxiety when it comes to driving, parking is still a challenge to me. However, Jesus gave me a ridiculous amount of space to parallel park – not to mention stopping the traffic flow on an otherwise busy street so I could park without feeling like I was holding up everyone.

At the closing, my spouse was cold at best and on the verge of spitting on me at worst. I was peaceful, calm, and happy. Full of joy, actually. It took only 17 minutes to sign away the house I had lived in for 17 years – longer by far than any other. It, too, had become a toxic environment.

Spouse and I parted ways – likely not to see each other again, as attorneys will take care of the remaining details of undoing the mistake that was our marriage.

For King & Country has a powerful song called “Burn the Ships,” which we covered in a post last month. Ultimately, it is about letting go of the past in order to focus on the future.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I have at least three or four ships ablaze in the harbor. Now, two or three of them are ashes floating down into the depths of the sea.

Losing my job is a tremendous opportunity. First, He is providing me a rest. And then He will move me along to wherever He wants me next. Downsizing my life into an apartment is allowing me to focus on my spiritual journey, for I have so much to learn about Jesus, life, and myself. The ending of my marriage is freeing me to become who He created me to be.

Maybe I should be afraid, but I’m not.

I’m a child of God. I trust Him.

He’s got me.

Thank you for reading. May Jesus bless you.

“Jesus replied, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'”
John 6:35

Dangerous prayers

By JC

Monday night of this week, Snow and I were praying. We pray and read the Bible together every day. Praise God for my true love. But this is not about true love. We were praying fervently for His will.

We are at a point in our journeys where there are big decisions to be made. See our previous posts, “Leave the past” and “Writing Jesus with a burdened heart” in our “Burn the Ships” series.

I was praying for God to hit us with a 2×4 to make it obvious what we should do, asking “What is Your will, God?” Then, Snow decided that a 2×4 was not large enough or obvious enough, so he proceeded to ask for a 4×4. We also decided to begin a fast.

Within twelve hours, I was informed that I was being laid off from my job, effective that day.

The deep love and beauty of Jesus is to “be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

As I was being informed of my termination, I was so filled with the peace of Jesus. I was able to comfort the people terminating me and share my faith. What an amazing God we serve that He answered the 4×4 prayer within twelve hours in such a clear way. I love clarity, and I received it – thank God!

In addition to the 4×4 prayer, I have been praying, “Bend me, break me to Your will.” I know that I am not aligned to His will because I am unsettled. I have been burdened to get a job where I can touch souls daily and advance the Kingdom. What an incredible gift that would be!

Credit: JC

I have felt like Samuel for years: “Here I am.” I am ready to go wherever and do whatever.

I am not denying that people in the corporate world can touch souls, for we serve where He places us. I am saying I need to be on the front lines, for I love being there.

Holding the sick, feeding the hungry, and sharing Jesus with the hurting, the widowed, and the orphaned. I am 100% fulfilled in my soul and spirit during those times, doing what He created me to do.

“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”
James 1:27

Earlier this week, when God broke my corporate chains, I felt so liberated! Then, it occurred to me – why did I ignore the burden He put on my heart to get on the front lines? (Your post a couple of weeks ago illustrates that you did not ignore it, my love. It explains exactly why you had not yet acted to get on the front lines. –Snow) Why did I need God to move my feet and end the corporate job? Why didn’t I do it?

Maybe I did not have the strength, or maybe I did not trust Him. “Bend me, break me.”

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
2 Timothy 1:7

When you pray dangerous prayers, such as the 4×4 prayer, expect God to move – because He will. When you ask Him to “bend me, break me to Your will,” He will.

You will wind up having incredible trust in Him when you pray these prayers, and He moves.

(Trust in God is something I have struggled with as a new believer. JC tells me I vacillate on this aspect of my walk with Him. Yesterday morning, I found an unfamiliar trail in our favorite park. “I don’t think I’ve been down this path before,” I thought, and I immediately felt God, through the Holy Spirit. I walked the path with Him. I talked to Him. I thanked Him for my blessings, including Jesus, JC, my mom, my brother and sisters, and this wonderful world that humanity has tried its best to ruin. The joyful tears flowed. He revealed an event that is happening soon in my life. He told me how to react. “I trust you, Lord,” I kept repeating. I could feel Him the whole way. Like He was holding me. My entire body. As I neared the end of the path, I realized, “This path was here all along. We never saw it.” On and off that whole morning, I could feel Him, and, to a lesser frequency, the rest of the day as well. Even this morning I felt Him again briefly earlier today, and I feel Him now as I write this. I have never had such an intense experience as yesterday. I trust Him. I trust Him. Where I still struggle, though, even after all of that, is giving JC to Him. I have tried to do this a few times already, but I always end up wanting to cling to her. I just love her so much. I remain a work in progress. Our walk continues. –Snow)

There is nothing but full dependency on Him when He shapes your life to His will. Scary? Maybe. But He loves me more than I can understand, and He has never let me down.

What an amazing and powerful God we serve! He closed one chapter in my life this week, and I am elated to see where He takes me next.

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Galatians 2:20

I surrender to You, all that You loaned me – time, talents, resources. Use me. I pray that my life verse is finally coming to fruition, that I am finally getting out of my own way.

“For me, living is Christ and dying is gain.”
Philippians 1:21

(I’d like to close out today with a prayer for JC and anyone else whose life has encountered an unexpected turn of events:

Heavenly Father,

Please lift up Your travelers. Fill them with inspiration, faith, and insight. Fill them with You – love. Illuminate their paths, Lord. Show them the paths they do not yet see. Maybe these are paths that have been there all along. Maybe these are brand new paths that you have forged just for them. Reach out and hold them, Lord. Touch them. Touch their hearts. Touch their souls. Show them Your will. It is in the precious name of Jesus I pray.

Amen

Thank you for reading. May Jesus bless you. –Snow)